Posts Tagged With: living in the moment

Does Anyone Really Care?

The other day I read a quote that has stuck with me ever since.

Here’s the result of what I took from it.

During the journey of life, everyone goes through tough times. Everyone hurts. Everyone struggles. Everyone experiences some form of pain or loneliness. The reasons behind these feelings and their intensity differ, depending on the person and the situation. But these are all factors in the human experience.

There are times in your life when you’ll feel like no one really cares about you. You’ll feel lonely, like no one understands you.

During those times, it’s easy to internalize those feelings; to start thinking that you’re worthless, that it’s your fault no one cares about you, that you aren’t worthy of being loved. It’s easy to imagine these things about yourself, because in your mind, you have the proof: no one even notices when you’re struggling.

But the truth is, the actions (or apparent inaction) of others has nothing to do with you. The reality is that other people’s lives don’t revolve around you, as much as we all like to think they do. Most people have so much going on in their own lives that their world revolves around themselves. They have so much packed into their heads that they can’t see beyond their own to-do lists. Their thoughts are continually focused on the future – that person they have to meet, the deadline looming over them, the bills they have to pay, or the thousand other trivial thoughts popping up to no end.

For those of us trying to remove ourselves from that trap of non-stop thinking by learning to live in the moment, it can be hard to connect with these people on a deeper level. They are simply “too busy.” They have no available space in their minds for making personal connections, and certainly no time to spare.

My experience in trying to connect with someone trapped in the “too busy” mindset has usually resulted in feeling either neglected or guilty; neglect because they don’t seem to show a genuine interest in my well-being, or guilt for loading more problems onto their already overflowing plate by sharing my struggles with them.

However, I’ve learned some important things over the last few months through this experience.

“Things are not always as they seem.”

It’s a saying I’ve been familiar with for a long time, but am only just realizing the value of now. Just because someone appears to be too busy to care about you, it doesn’t mean they don’t. You can never truly know how someone else is feeling or what they’re thinking. People’s words and actions are not always representative of their true feelings. So, while someone seems indifferent to your suffering, or appears to not even have noticed that you are lonely or hurting, they may actually love you with all their heart.

For me, that’s the hardest part to remember. It’s easy to make assumptions based on the actions of others, but these assumptions will likely lead you to nothing but pain, often because they aren’t correct.

So, next time you feel invisible, remember that the friends and family you are expecting attention and validation from, also have their own lives. It doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. They, too, are struggling through this wild ride we call life. Maybe they haven’t yet broken free from the anxiety-inducing task list running through their head. Maybe they don’t know how. Maybe they haven’t even realized that it’s a possibility. Maybe they don’t believe it is.

I guess in the end, we’re all just doing our best. I’m no expert on living in the moment, but I’m trying to live a life of peace.

For me, that means living with a mind free of clutter.

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Categories: My 500 Words, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

New Year’s Resolutions: useful or not?

All over the world, people tend to make a big deal out of celebrating the start of another year.

Many people see the new year as a re-birth in a way; a chance to start over, or start fresh. They see the beginning of another year as an opportunity to look at their lives, and to make goals and plans for the future. Many of us view the new year as a time to reflect as well, to look back on what the past year has brought us, and to learn from it; the mistakes we made, the lessons we learned, the things we accomplished, and the things we didn’t. All of these aspects are a part of any given year, but it’s up to us what we do with them.

For many of us, the start of a brand new year brings hope. Hope for a better future. Whatever struggles we endured during the year before, whatever pain we experienced, a new year brings hope that we will overcome the struggles and that the pain will be healed.

For others, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day is a special time to be spent with family and friends. What better way to start off a new year than to have your loved ones by your side?

If we’re not careful, though, New Year’s Day can become little more than an excuse; a reason not to do things we need or want to do now, because we’re waiting for the new year. “It’s better to start fresh with the new year,” we tell ourselves. “Our goals or resolutions will mean more if they are officially set on New Year’s Day.” We start to see the new year as a saving grace, and wait for it to come, sometimes for months, so that we can get on with our “new” lives.

But does this really make sense? Is it really effective to wait for New Year’s Day to set New Year’s Resolutions, when we could just start working towards them now, regardless of what the date is? New Year’s Day, after all, is just another day, the same as any other. The only real difference is that it happens to be given a special name. So, while we wait for this “special” day, (for who knows how long), aren’t we really just giving up valuable time that we could be using to make progress on those resolutions?

I understand the value of setting goals and having something to work towards achieving. I also understand that people like tradition, and for many, setting New Year’s Resolutions each year is tradition. But what I don’t understand is the waiting part. What are we waiting for? As much as we like to pretend we do, the truth is we don’t have unlimited time on this Earth.

I’m realizing more and more lately that life is all about living in the moment. It’s here now, but it may be gone tomorrow.

As one of my favourite quotes says: “Life is what happens to us while we’re busy making other plans.”

I can’t agree more. So, while you’re busy setting goals and making those plans for 2015, don’t forget to remember that in reality, all you have is this moment. The only thing you can really count on is the moment you’re in right now. So enjoy it! No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so make the most of right now.

Whether you spent New Year’s Day resting, hanging out with loved ones, making plans for the new year, setting goals to achieve this year, or reflecting on 2014, I hope you enjoyed yourself. That’s the key.

Happy New Year from Busan, everyone!

Categories: My 500 Words, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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